How you can help a suicidal friend

If a friend of yours has threatened suicide, you may be a big part in saving their life because suicide believe it or not IS PREVENTABLE! For some, it is easy to convince yourself that the problems of the world are minor and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but others just aren't that easily swayed. IF you try to help and all efforts fail, try these few suggestions in helping to alleviate the tension to die.

    Listening is a door opener. When you listen for the feelings behind the words, you communicate two very important messages: your friend isn't an idiot and they have valid problems, and you care enough to want to help.    Once your friend starts talking, try to listen without making judgements or giving advice. Your tone should reflect your genuine sympathy and supportive feelings.    Interested questions are helpful, but statements that begin with " Why didn't you.?" Are not helpful because they steer the conversation toward blame and shut down communication. Statements such as You'll get over it soon" imply that you don't take their problems seriously.    Be alert for words and phrases that suggest suicidal intent. Statements such as the following may be meant quite literally: "Everybody's against me, I wish I were dead" " I'm so frustrated, it'd be better if I just kill myself" " I can't make anyone happy, what's the point of living?"

The way to find out if a friend is suicidal is to ask. This will not "put the idea in his or her head". In fact NOT talking about his or her suicidal feelings says you don't want to help and actually robs your friend of the chance to reach out and get help. DO take seriously anyone who talks about suicide. DO tell your friend how you feel. Communicate your caring and that you're a safe person to talk with.

This is often the hardest step, especially if your friend asks you not to tell anyone. DO get help even if your friend is reluctant to accept adult help. If the help is from the school, your friend may fear that their problems will become a part of their school record or be discussed like it's the biggest topic of everybody in school. If the help is from relatives, they may be concerned that their parents will be told about matters that they consider private. If the help is from professionals, they fear it will "prove" they are mentally ill. DO NOT delay if the situation is an emergency. Get help from an adult as fast as possible: a school staff member, a family member, a counselor, or if necessary, the police. DO ask for help yourself when you don't know what to do for your friend.

There is no typical suicidal victim. It happens to young and old, rich and poor. Fortunately there are some common warning signs which, when acted upon, can save lives. Here are some signs to look for.

• Talk about committing suicide
• Have trouble eating or sleeping
• Change drastically in their behavior
• Withdraw from family and friends
• Lose interest in their hobbies
• Make a will or final arrangements
• Give away prized possessions
• Have attempted suicide before or has a history of suicide in the family
• Take unnecessary risks
• Be preoccupied with death and dying
• Lose interest in their personal appearance
• Increase their use of alcohol or drugs
• Experience a prolonged depression

WHAT TO DO: Contact the School Counselor immediately